Thoughts from Thomas Merton,
Without courage we can never attain to true simplicity. Cowardice keeps us 'double minded'---hesitating between the world and God.
In this hesitation, there is no true faith--faith remains an opinion. We are never certain, because we never quite give in to the authority of an invisible God. This hesitation is the death of hope. We never let go of those visible supports which, we well know, must one day surely fail us. And this hesitation makes true prayer impossible--it never quite dares to ask for anything, or if it asks, it is so uncertain of being heard that in the very act of asking it surreptitiously seeks by human prudence, to construct a make-shift answer (James 1:5-8).
What is the use of praying, if at the very moment of prayer, we have so little confidence in God that we are busy planning our own kind of answer to our prayer?
As a reforming 1 AND 10er, I have great sympathy for this dilemma of ours. Perhaps it is comprehending with application one of or a combination of the following: Faith- which is action and dispensation of “blessing” in the covenant under Christ. This mis- or lack of understanding of the very words we use lends to our hesitation.
ReplyDeleteO.K. faith is active. It is something we are doing. It is easy and prolific to list actions of faith as prayer, evangelism, teaching, meeting physical needs of others. . . And, if you are a churched person you will sometimes add stillness to the list. However, do we really see the act of stillness as action. . . I mean really see it that way? I had a very difficult time with that. I knew it was to be done. I knew stillness had purpose and yet it was filed in the same folder in my mind as laziness or passivity. I could not seem to hold in the same hand the apparent dichotomy of not doing and doing. I believe it is easy and sometimes taught that "be still" means do nothing. For doers it is much easier to return to the scripture of a man must work. . . Sometimes that work is in the mind's eye- planning, understanding, and figuring. The danger of this for me was in the element of the hypothetical. In order to understand, plan, and figure- DO- I was doing A LOT of “what if-ing”, a lot of hypothesizing. This so easily facilitated my journey into the land of imagination, worry, and control. It took time and focus on the study of seeking to understand that to seek and to strive (opposite of the Greek word for still) are not the same thing. In other words, I wanted to pursue God and somehow keep my hands out of the pot. If we view stillness as lack of action, we hesitate to be still.
Dispensation of punishment and blessing- How God dispenses justice/ punishment and blessing. First of all, we so limitedly define blessing as something we get- heavenly/ earthly booty if you will. In my understanding of Greek, a blessing is a eulogy to God. Sometimes that is a tangible form, but always a statement of God’s divinity, love and sovereignty. I think we leave that out. I think, particularly for Americans it is easy to give the old adage of good behavior (faithful prayer, giving generously, doing in seen capacity, . .) equals comfort stuff from God (houses, cars, financial benefit, position, even health). While we are told to come to God with every prayer and petition, the purpose is not to ease our daily life with stuff, but to remain relational with God, recognizing His authority and Will by submitting to Him not only in request to Him as our provider but also quietness and respect as our creator, ruler, and Father/ “head”. If we view stuff as blessing, then we hesitate when we lack stuff.
All of the above is to bring me to the point that, if we are conversating with God yet there is no need for Him to be present because you are doing the thinking and planning for him, then are you praying or talking at Him? Are you sacheateing your need for Him verses Cherishing the relationship as belonging to and with Him? The use of praying in those moments I believe is to practice remaining in His presence. The difficulty is finding the balance of doing and stillness, cherishing relationship, petitioning and desireing intangible spiritual gifts, and petitioning for tangibles as well.
So to the question, what is the point. . . If you are recognizing the presence of God. . .wonderful- don’t stop because you are fallible. However, praying is not, ”just talking to God.” It is a relational act of getting to know him better. He knows your heart already, but do you know what he knows about your heart? Recognize prayer as more than petitioning him (like a work order). It is intimate time to get to know your Father and know how and what he sees in you as His. You will be amazed at how this approach facilitates stillness and growth in your relationship and discipleship. Don’t stop talking to God until you do it well! Practice talking WITH and listening for what He sees in you ( your love and desire for Him AND your ugly, fallible self) and because “He will never remove His faithfulness from you” I believe you will be more able to see in what and how He loves you . Then your need to answer for Him through your hypothesized details of you perspective can begin to subside.
It takes courage to attain this simplicity and through it new courage (faith) is grown. And with more courage hter will be less room for hesitation.