One of the great and very subtle tempatations relative to life in leadership is that the activities and experiences associated with leadership can be very addicting. Leadership roles, by their very nature, give a lot of fodder for the ego. To remove ourselves, even for a time, from the very arena where we are receiving so much of our identity can be difficult, if not impossible, for leaders no matter how much mental assent we give to the whole idea.
Many leaders preach solitude better than they practice it and I suspect this may be the nut of it. Leaders are busy, yes, and solitude necessitates that we pull away from the demands of our lives in ministry, which is never easy and involves many logistical challenges. But I think
the real reason we resist actually moving into a more substantive experience of solitude may have more to do with the anxiety that comes as we pull away from that which we have allowed to define us externally. Usually we're not willing to let go of all that unless we are desperate --- as Elijah was when he went into the wilderness, as Moses was when we fled to Midian, and as Paul was when he got knocked off his horse and sat in utter stillness for three days.
If you're feeling a little desperate, let it keep coming until it drives you into the wilderness of your own solitude --- a very fruitful place for a leader to be.
-Ruth Haley Barton
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