thinking out loud

I'm processing conversations from the past 24 hours.  Wondering how everything fits together.  Through it all -  my thoughts have landed on contentment.  

So with my mind still swirling, I called Jill to ponder.  It was so encouraging to discuss it all with her.  Remember, my notes below represent a work in progress.

First thought:

• What has God called you to do? 
• Are you doing it?

We must determine the core or as Jill and I referred to it, the common denominator, in determining our calling.  We believe it consists of three things: 

GOD

HIS CALLING 

MY OBEDIENCE

Second thought:

• I struggle with being content in my calling - often asking questions like "Lord, why am I in this situation again?"   In my mind, contentment is a path we are on.

If I lean too much to the right it might lead to Pharisaical smugness.

"Play it safe - Cheryl, you're doing great. You've got a good thing going here - almost have it all figured out.  Remain task oriented in all you do.  Remember to constantly look around and compare your efforts with those around you.  Are they content?  Just be glad you're not like them.'

If I lean too much to the left, I am overwhelmed with helplessness. 

I want to give up.  It is too much - I am defeated.  I have a desire to please God, but I remain anxious and uncertain.

Thomas Merton addresses feelings of uncertainty in this prayer excerpt below.

"...and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing..."

 

Work on:

• Maybe I need a visual that will circle me back to my original question? 
• I definately think the answer can be found in this scripture from Philippians.

"I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

to be continued....