My crisis of belief...

"They took Jesus, therefore, and He went out bearing His own cross, to the place called Place of the Skull, which in Hebrew is called Golgotha." John 19:17


Via Dolorosa, Jerusalem...
the "Way of Grief" or "Way of Suffering"

It is held to be the path that Jesus walked on the way to his crucifixion. It is marked by nine of the fourteen Stations of the Cross.

My friend Michelle shared with me today a scripture passage that draws a parallel with John 19:17...Genesis 22:3-8.

Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son."
and the two of them went on together."

God has provided the lamb, Jesus Christ.

I am the spineless coward Pilate, washing my hands in apparent innocence. I am the blood thirsty crowd pursuing death with chants of "Crucify! Crucify!"

In his book, Experiencing God, Henry Blackaby states that as we seek to be obedient there will always be a crisis of belief. A place where faith and action are required to move on with God.

A crisis is a crucial or decisive moment; a turning point. I face a crisis of belief. Will I bear the cross of Christ? Sadly, I'd like to distance myself from the details of this event. Yet my involvement IS the story. I am confronted with the compassion of Christ who willingly accepted MY cross. In my crisis I have a choice, a hard choice that will expose my true nature.

As Isaac "...carried the fire and the knife...," I understand that I must carry the cross of Christ. Not just as a sign of forgiveness, but a sign of grace and communing with Christ. "Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

For the cross that Jesus bore was not his own. It was mine! It was the horrible symbol of judgment for my sins. Jesus '...bearing his own cross...' you have redeemed the whole world.

"When Jesus felt the cross put on his shoulders, he felt the pain of all future generations pressing on him and he loved the least of us with an immense compassion... "

H. Nouwen