The spiritual law of gravity

I took three long, deep breaths and tried to settle myself.  My body was trembling under the weight of tension.  It had been a very long day. 

I needed silence.  

"...when a jar of river water sits still, the law of gravity causes the sediment to eventually settle to the bottom so that the water becomes clear.  We don't have to do anything to cause the settling except leave the jar alone for a while. 

The same is true of the 'spiritual law of gravity.'  When we sit quietly in God's presense, the sediment that is swirling in our souls begins to settle.  We don't have to do anything but show up and trust the spiritual law of gravity that says,  Be still, and the knowing will come..."

-Joan Chittister

Living on the edge of a ledge being annoyed, impatient, and frustrated is awful.  But that's where I've been for sometime.  That's the sediment that's been swirling around in my head and it comes from living LIFE on my own.  Starting each day with a list of tasks to complete and questions that need answering, hoping I'll know more about the uncertainities by days end. Trying not to think about all the 'I don't know' places that no amount of thinking and wordiness has been able to touch with an answer.

I need to sit. . .with God. . .and my questions.

To say them out loud.

Tell him how it feels not to have the answer, but resist the urge to grasp for answers.

Confess the impatience that quickly slips into my thoughts.

I ask myself,

Am I willing to be patient with THIS THING that is unresolved in my heart?

What can I do - LORD - what would it look like for me to stop working so hard on this and trust YOU to work...in Your way and Your time?

I sit in silence.