When we see what others have, is our basic reaction to notice
what we’re missing or express gratitude for what we have?
Photo courtesy of Istockphoto.com/SKapl
I’ve thought a lot about about this
question over the years but came back to it recently when I found myself
feeling a little jealous over all the vacation posts popping up on Twitter,
Facebook, and Instagram.
At some point the serene beaches, beautiful lakes, and
mountaintop views started getting to me. I felt like I was missing out. Maybe
you’ve felt this way too.
But here’s what’s strange about my reaction: I’m going on
vacation in just a few weeks. I’m not missing out on anything. So why do I feel
as if I am?
Our Culture of
Scarcity
Too often we focus on what we lack instead of what we have.
According to researcher Brené Brown, we live in a culture of perceived
scarcity, what she calls in Daring
Greatly “our culture of ‘never enough.’”
Brown says we start off the morning thinking we didn’t get
enough sleep, go through the day thinking we don’t have enough time, and fall
asleep thinking we we failed to accomplish enough tasks. Whatever we have, do,
or get, it’s never enough.
Throughout the day, as we interact with others, we are painfully
aware of what we’re missing: looks, smarts, talent, luck, money, peace,
creativity—you name it.
But here’s the problem. Not only are all of these comparisons
discouraging and even debilitating, they distort and hide the tremendous gifts
we have been given.
Outrageous Abundance
Regardless of our culture of perceived scarcity—or our
individual circumstances—we all can point to assets, blessings, and gifts in
our lives.
That’s why I say perceived
scarcity. It’s not real. Yes, there are a million things we don’t have. But
there are a million that we do. If we can see through the right lens, we have
all been given more than we can possibly ask or imagine.
That lens is called gratitude,
and it’s a lens that amplifies everything good in our lives instead of causing
it to shrink to insignificance.
While it’s the easiest thing to fall into a scarcity mentality,
gratitude helps us cultivate a mindset of abundance.
Three Disciplines of
Gratitude
To battle the deceptive perception of scarcity I’ve benefited
from adopting these three disciplines of gratitude:
- I start and end the day with prayer. Instead of bookending the day with what I failed to
get—sleep or accomplishments or whatever—I try focusing on the blessings I
do have and express them in prayer.
- I practice thankfulness. Before I get caught in endless comparisons, I express
gratitude for the gifts I do have. I find prayer before meals gives me
several natural points in the day to do this.
- I journal my gratitude. Journaling is useful for many things, but expressing
and capturing our gratitude is certainly one. Not only do I have the
in-the-moment benefit of focusing on the good, I’ve recorded it for later
reflection, for those times when things don’t feel like they’re going as
well as I had hoped.
The truth is that we will never have more of what we truly
desire until we become fully thankful for what we have.
Let’s be crystal clear about this: Ingratitude creates instant
victims in our culture of scarcity.
But giving thanks for outrageous abundance inoculates us from
the sense of fear, failure, and discontent we sometimes experience and instead
creates a path toward success, joy, and fulfillment.
Question: Are you a scarcity thinker or an abundance thinker? How could the
culture of scarcity prevent you from reaching your goals?
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